Saturday, May 02, 2009

struggle

I'm struggling tonight. The problem - I went clothes shopping. Nothing fancy. At all. I just don't have much of anything that looks even ok. I need clothes. It was hard. I've never had to buy that size before. I would tell myself that it's only temporary, but that's not been the case in the past. Ever. I only go up. I've never gone down. It's a struggle. I want to jump on the treadmill right now. But it's after midnight. And I have a long day tomorrow. A fun day. But a long day. I want to just quit eating much. But I'm nursing. And I have to eat. And depriving myself does not help my emotional state. At least in the past. But obviously the current situation doesn't help much either. So that's all. Just a vent. Just wanted to put it out there. To be open. And honest. And make sure that those who care about me know that I'm struggling.

5 comments:

jennjenn said...

I'll be praying for you and the struggle. And I want you to know that you are not alone.

Ldani said...

I'm sorry your struggling. Hang in there!

Elizabeth A. said...

Anyone who has ever dieted knows how terribly unpleasant it is, I can't imagine while nursing and recovering. I had to get one pair of capris from Lane Bryant after being too upset to buy clothes for months, it was not a fun day, but they fit so I bit the bullet.

A few small things have helped me recently. 200ish protein cals between meals help me from overeating when I sit down to eat. Measuring my portions. I was shocked to learn how much food actually weighs. I'm sure your doctor can tell you what exactly your nutritional needs are and then you'd have a black and white guide. I also make sure to drink two liters of water a day (lemon juice helps) and 20 grams of fiber. Stay full(ish), and keeps things "moving."

Didn't mean to sound intrusive, I just know where you're coming from. And remember, I don't think any woman loves her thighs.

Elizabeth said...

Thanks for sharing. Will be praying for you.

Anonymous said...

It will get better! Mema

Poor Nathan, having to make a living!! Just kidding. Good luck. Mema